Your first day away from your child

If you know that you are likely to feel anxious about your child starting school, then make plans to do something unusual once they have been dropped off, such as having a haircut, going swimming or meeting a friend for a coffee. This will help to distract you from worrying about your child who is probably quite happy and enjoying the exciting things on offer!

It is not unusual for young children to have a bit of an emotional wobble at the start of the day but generally they will be fine within a few minutes of being in a classroom with experienced adults who are used to working with such young children. This wobble can come at any time and so so not be alarmed if your previously settled child suddenly becomes upset at the start of the day. There are usually simple reasons behind this, such as being really tired, not feeling very well, worrying about something at home and in very rare occasions something at school. Again, make sure you talk to your child's teacher to share any information about possible causes and to work together to settle your child.

Make sure your child has time to relax, rest or play after school before you have dinner and start the bath and bedtime routine. They may bring home a reading book to share with you but this can wait until another time as at this stage this has already been a really busy day! A shared story before bed is a good time to have a quick recap of the day and may help your child to allay any anxieties and settle down so that they relax and have a good night's sleep.

Tip: At the end of the first day, and for the whole of their first week tour child will probably be really tired. Try not to keep asking about what they have done as children will usually volunteer information about the days activities in their own time. If you are curious then ask 'What did you really enjoy today?' as this is less intimidating that 'What did you do today?' and is also more likely to get a response, even if that response is simply 'playtime' or 'lunchtime'!

Starting School; The week before

Now is the time to label absolutely everything your child will be taking to school. Many schools offer advice on the best place to get labels for your child's clothes but it is definitely worth shopping around for the best method which suits you.
You can buy labels which need to be sewn on, ironed on or just stuck in. Sometimes, a combination of iron on labels for clothing and stick on labels for items such as water bottles and 'show and tell' toys is the most appropriate.

http://www.mynametags.com - a combination of both iron on and stick on name labels with or without a wide choice of picture symbols.
http://nametag-it.co.uk - easy fix clip on nametags, iron on labels and stick on labels.
http://easy2name.com - woven name tags for sewing onto clothes

If at all possible choose labels with pictures as well as a name so that your child can recognise not just the word but the symbol in their early reading days.

Although you may have already done this, take a walk along the route that you will cover or drive along at the right time of day. This will show you any new potential roadworks or obstacles which might mean you have to change your timings on the first day. Try and pick out some key landmarks long the journey so that during the first week you can ask questions as a fun way of engaging your child's interest, for example, 'What do you think we will pass next?'

Invite your child to practise putting on their school uniform and PE kit if they have one, and taking it off. Try to make this a fun activity, for example using an egg timer, and sharing a reward if the child succeeds in the given task.
If necessary, explain as well as you can the term PE. It will probably be the first time your child has heard this term but one they will be using often in school and the teachers may assume that your child knows what to expect. Explain that, after changing into exercise clothes, they will able to play lots of games and run, jump and skip about.
Organise a pretend PE lesson with some dolls or soft toys and ask your child to get ready and join in. Ideally, dress and undress the toys too. The PE lesson then becomes something to look forward to rather than a situation that provokes anxiety.

Tip: Don't put too much pressure on your child as this is a week for being relaxed and minimising stress and anxiety. Avoid a countdown to the start of school which might add unnecessary pressure. This should be a time to enjoy together before formal education begins.

As the week progresses, start to build up your morning routine. Talk to your child about all the things they need to do in the morning and in which order. Take photographs of your child doing different events in the morning routine, such as eating breakfast, getting washed, putting on clothes, brushing teeth, fastening shoes, and so on. Print them out and make them into cards so that you and your child can arrange them into a sequence and talk about each event and what it involves. You could then stick them onto a large piece of paper and hang it up in their bedroom so they know which steps they need to be getting on with.

Tip: Try getting up at 'school time' to get children used to the earlier mornings, aim to have had breakfast and be washed and dressed by the time you need to leave the house.

11% 'denied first choice primary'

One in nine children is being denied their first choice of primary school, new figures suggest.

In some areas of England, close to one in five youngsters are missing out on their preferred option, while in others almost all get theschool they choose.

A Press Association survey using figures from 43 local authorities outside London reveals that just over 27,000 children (11.3%) have been refused a place at their first choice primary school for this September.

If these figures were replicated across the country, it suggests as many as 68,000 children could be missing out on a favoured place, given an average year group of 600,000 pupils.

The survey also reveals that a child's chances of gaining a place at their first choice depend on the area in which they live, with as few as 5% and as many as 20% missing out in various parts of the country.

Many councils say they have seen a rising birth rate in recent years and are providing additional places to meet demand.

Figures published by the Pan London Admissions Board last month, which are not included in the survey, revealed that 21% of youngsters in the capital did not get their first choice primary schools for this September.

Siobhan Freegard, co-founder of parenting website Netmums, said she would recommend that parents who do not get their first choice of school stay on the waiting list, as children can drop out and they may still get a spot. And she suggested that many parents find, after just a few weeks, they are content with the school their child did get a place at.

A Department for Education spokeswoman said: "There simply aren't enough good schools. The best are many times oversubscribed - forcing parents to send their children to weaker schools which lack the academic standards and good behaviour they demand.

"Children only get one shot at education which is why our reforms are designed to deliver higher standards and genuine choice for parents. We want to improve discipline, give greater freedom to heads, attract the best graduates to teaching, expand academies, set up new schools and we will not hesitate to step in to turn around weak schools. Only when every school is considered a good school will we start to remove the anxiety parents suffer when choosing a school for their child."