Battling with weight

I have always been a large & curvy girl. I would classify myself as an emotional eater. I eat when I am sad, happy, excited or even worried.

Back in 2006/2007 while at university, I started The Cambridge Diet and within 6 months I had reached my goal weight of 10 stone with a BMI of 24; I was full of self confidence and even took up a bit of modelling! It was great not being classified as OBESE.

During the last few weeks of my first year at university my hair became thin and I thought I had alopecia. I went along to my doctors and she said she would need to rule out pregnancy. I laughed and said "Ok, but there is no chance as I am on the pill". Within minutes of doing a test it turned positive. The doctor seems shocked and carried out another just to be certain. Again, this turned positive! I couldn't believe it. She felt my stomach and said I couldn't have been any more than a few weeks as I was not showing. She booked me in for a scan the following week.

I could not get my head around being pregnant. I didn't know what to tell my family. What would they think? I had just completed my first year at university; I didn't want to let them down. So, I said nothing until I had the scan. In my mind I would have an abortion if I was under 6 weeks.

Scan day came around quickly; as soon as the ultrasound wand touched my tummy, I looked at the screen and saw a perfect little baby with arms, legs and a strong heart beat. The technician confirmed I was around 18 weeks pregnant. I couldn't believe it. There was no way after seeing the little baby on the screen I could go through with an abortion. I had NO bump, I was STILL taking the pill and I had been out drinking over the easter bank holiday weekend.

I knew I would have to tell my Mum soon as I wasn't sure how long it would be before I started showing. I remember telling my Mum while standing at the top of the stairs; her reaction was totally unexpected. She was pleased to be a Nanny!

After I had Jack in December 2008 I was determined to loose the "baby weight" which I had gained. I wanted to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But thats when I was diagnosed with postnatal depression. I was lucky to have the support of my Mum and my Health Visitor. But thats when the weight started creeping on. The more weight I put on, the less motivated I was to do anything about it. My relationship with food had become a tasty habit which needed to stop. 

I started to become more and more depressed. I'd stay in the house all the time and I turned down many social invitations. I didn't want to be seen. I felt like everyone was staring and judging me over my weight.

I have tried many different popular diets; but the weight still was creeping on. I felt embarrassed being weighed in front of a group of strangers, and I was always the girl with the most to lose. A lot has been going on with my life and it wasn't until today that I realised I NEED to do something about my weight. I am no longer happy & confident with myself.

Today, I feel I have taken the right steps and I am going to loose this weight.
I am back on The Cambridge diet. I am not doing this for anyone but myself; it's my choice and I truly want to be successful.

Child Support Agency (CSA)

I would like to share with you my ongoing battle with the CSA. I have been battling, trying to get a payment from Jack's dad for nearly 3 years; no joy. I still don't have a regular payment and don't believe I ever will.

First he is employed, assessment is made and a deduction of earning order is set and a few monthly payments are received. He then goes on to leave that employer and finds new employment. I then have to wait another 6 months for wage details to be sent in, during this period he leaves employment. And so on and so on. During this time I was asked if I had any contact with him and if I knew anything about his situation, address and contact number. Why should I start doing their job and have contact with a man I don't want in my life? I felt as if they were forcing me to have contact with him. This whole employed then not employed has gone on for about 2 years. They told me they can't force him to stay in a job (but in some degrees they can) They say they can take driving licences off them and set up court hearings - never once has any of this enforcement action been taken.

How long does someone have to wait before some action is taken against a non paying parent?

About 6 months ago he denied Jack was his child and the CSA contacted me. They said they couldn't do a free DNA as he had made a few payments in the past; which in their eyes; they see he has accepted he is the father. He is on the birth certificate, if he had any doubt then he should have asked for one when Jack was born! I told them I had nothing to hide and if he wanted a DNA test then he could go right ahead! They informed me if he did want one it would have to be funded out of his own pocket - funnily enough; that was the last I heard on that matter!

Currently he has told them he is self employed but has failed to send in his company books and other relevant documentation. I am sat wondering how long he can drag it out this time? Surely they can trace him through his company name and tax code? I know and understand it is harder to trace someone who is self employed and the information they produce may not be true as they dot declare everything and this will affect the amount paid to me. Surely there is something they can use to trace his income?

I can't understand how and why he has been allowed to get away with not paying it. Every time I call up (which is almost every other week) and ask whats going on in the case they tell me they are in contact with him and waiting to get more details about his situation. Why not just demand a payment from him! I can't say I am really bothered by the amount; I just want him to pay for his child!

I did contact my local MP but because I didn't have a "high" amount of arrears and the parent was in contact with the CSA and being compliant they couldn't help me move my case along.

It's almost like they don't want the parent with care to get ANY financial support for the child. I didn't ask to be a single parent but they are penalising you because they are the only company out there which can get maintenance as the courts no longer take cases on.

If I stopped doing everything for Jack like feeding him, clothing him and looking after him I am almost sure I would be looking at a case of child neglect? Isn't he neglecting his child by not paying for things the child needs?

I personally feel that any non resident parent who ISN'T paying for their child should have all reproductive organs removed! That way they would stop leaving a trail of children they don't pay for.
Parent's with care are then left suffering as they are relying on the state to help them raise the child.

I would like to hear any other views on this matter. These are just my thoughts and what has happened to me. I am not in anyway saying this is how other cases are treated or handled.